I have heard it time and again; “I want to hire you, but I have to talk my husband into it”. Here’s a few answers to some of the misconceptions that make men hesitant to hire a doula.
“I want to be the one to support my wife.”
Just because the doula is there for support, doesn’t mean you won’t have a role in the birth of your child. The doula has knowledge of comfort techniques to help reduce the pain of childbirth. She is an expert at using these techniques, but she can teach you to use them as well. She can show you how to find the correct hand position, and how to follow your wife’s cues for how much pressure and when to start and stop. Some women benefit from a couple of different pressure points being used at once, and you need a team to do that. Sometimes though, a woman just feels like her doula is better at a hip squeeze. Don’t despair dads! She still needs you there. You can encourage her and coach her breathing, you can make sure she is drinking enough water, or you can just hold her hand and stroke her hair. Your presence and support is extremely important no matter how it is given.
“It’s a lot of money for something I can do myself.”
True, a doula is a big investment, but the service she offers is priceless. Your wife will need a lot of support during labor and delivery. Even if this isn’t her first child, every birth is different and experience doesn’t make it that much easier. A doula is an expert in supporting women in birth. They are trained and knowledgeable while also being objective and not emotionally involved. Seeing your wife enduring the pain and effort of birth can be very stressful, and without training it can be overwhelming at times. Another thing to remember is, you can’t be in two places at once. Birth can last for several hours, and during that time, you are inevitably going to need to use the restroom, get something to eat or drink, or make phone calls to family members. It is a lot to take on alone, and you will find that having an extra set of hands, expert advice, and constant backup is worth every penny.
“I don’t really think we are going to need that much help.”
Birth is hard, very hard. It has been compared to running a marathon or climbing Mt. Everest. Not only does it involve pain and tremendous physical effort, but it can be emotionally taxing as well. You might think that is all just for the woman giving birth, but it goes for her support people as well. It is kind of a given that the mom is going to need support, but the partner’s need support too. You don’t always understand what is happening, sometimes what you thought would help doesn’t, and sometimes it all affects you more than you thought it would. If this isn’t your first child, you may think that you know exactly what to expect, but that’s not always true. Every birth is different, because there are so many factors and variables. A doula has been trained to deal with a variety of scenarios, and how to support you and the mother through them. Wouldn’t it be better to have more help than you need, than not have it when you do need it?
When you hire a doula, you can be sure that you are getting the best support possible for both you and your partner. Doulas aren’t just for moms guys, dad’s love them too! If you are still on the fence, schedule a complimentary consult today. You might just be surprised on how much you want a doula too!